Love and the Wallet: Should His Higher Income Mean Sharing Money?

A couple who have been together for almost three years and have recently moved in together are experiencing financial disagreements.

Unequal Financial Footing

The woman is a college student who works part-time, while the man completed his college degree two years prior and secured a job through his internship. The man has received a promotion and a substantial salary increase, earning approximately $150,000 per year, while his girlfriend earns $20,000 annually.

The couple shares a home, which the man purchased. As such, he is responsible for the majority of essential costs, such as mortgage payments, electricity, and water bills. The woman pays for non-essential expenses, such as Spotify, phone bills, and Netflix.

Financial Disagreement

Recently, the couple had a major argument after the woman requested that they combine their finances and spend what remains after covering essential expenses together. However, the man currently pays for all essential expenses and his personal expenses while putting the remaining amount into his savings account. He does not agree with the proposal and thinks that the woman is envious of his higher earnings, even though he is saving most of his money.

The man perceives that his girlfriend already has an easy ride and argues that she is not responsible with her money, often spending it on expensive clothes and then complaining about running out of money at the end of the month.

The Masses Weigh In

Most of the people in the thread were on the man’s side.

“I think that if you can’t trust her to spend your money responsibly, you can’t marry her. At which point, I’m not sure that you should be dating her.

Like… at some point in a relationship, things merge. You move in together, you start to share finances, housework, child responsibilities if you have them, etc etc etc.

If you don’t think you can share that kind of stuff, it’s probably not the right relationship.

I make more than my girlfriend, but we still have a shared bank account, and I can trust that she’s going to be frugal because she knows how I feel about wasting money. If that’s the kind of thing that matters to you… you have to find someone that it matters to,” one person said.

“My wife and I both got “not-retail” jobs at the same time, right when her first pregnancy began. We were still living at home. We had been dating for four years, and we both knew then (as we do now) that we would be partners for life, regardless of whether marriage happened or not.

We didn’t even have to discuss it. We just got a joint account and closed our personal accounts. We did that because we had a lot of trust, we see each others as equal, and in real financial terms, we were approximately equal at the time.

Your situation is not that thing. You have your girlfriend unilaterally demanding that you pool your money with her, even though you already pay nearly all the bills. You are not financially equal, and you have wildly different financial priorities.

To me, this looks like she’s looking for a way to spend a lot of your money on material goods. Don’t do it,” another person shared.